Paleo Time!
by Hank-o-holic
Summary: When Princess Bubblegum allows Finn, Jake, & BMO to join her on an expedition to the Cretaceous Period, the group finds themselves ready for an unexpected adventure! Join them as they face off against hungry tyrannosaurs, stampeding horned dinos, and other strange beasts as they try to find extinct nectar for the Earl of Lemongrab and make their way home in one piece!
1. A Mission for the Ages

_**Hank_o_Holic**_** Presents:**

**PALEO TIME**

**Chapter 1 - **_A Mission for the Ages_

It was a rather subpar day in the Candy Kingdom when Finn, Jake, & BMO decided to drop by and visit Princess Bubblegum. Of course they knew that at it was during these times that she would be doing science experiments and projects. Finn normally wasn't very interested in any of "that science stuff," but he figured he could at least be polite.

When they entered the castle, they saw Princess Bubblegum working with a tiny device that looked like a smart-phone.

"Why hello Finn & Jake..." PB smiled, before BMO cleared his throat, "...and hello to you too BMO."

BMO grinned.

"Hey PB, whatcha got there?" Finn asked, scratching his head.

"This is a time machine! I haven't figured out a name yet."

The three were clearly interested now.

"WHOA" exclaimed Jake, "I didn't know time travel was even possible! But then again... I guess anything is possible."

"Precisely! It took several weeks, but I've finally perfected it! Think about all the places I could visit... of course one of the major reasons I build this was to deal with the Earl of Lemongrab." PB rolled her eyes at the mention of his name.

"What? Is he bugging you again?" Finn asked.

"No, not really. He put in a request for the Candy Kingdom to provide him with the sweet nectar of the cycadeoid for his annual banquet this month." PB replied, "as a princess' honor, I had to agree to help."

"Doesn't sound so hard to me to find some silly old flower-stuff." Finn stated, crossing his arms with a smug expression. "Where are these... cycad-e-oids?" Pronouncing such an odd name was hard for Finn.

"That's just it. Cycadeoids have been extinct for 66 million years! I'd rather not question his food choices, that's why I'll be going back in time to extract some. It shouldn't take long." PB put the finishing touches on her machine, which finally turned on and glowed.

"OH! OH! Can we go with you?!" Finn jumped in place, clearly excited.

"No way Finn. Not to be rude, but this is a mission for scientists only. I don't want any trouble." PB began putting in the coordinates and dates.

"What?! But what if a garbage monster attacks you?!" Finn protested, "you'll need someone to protect you!"

"Yeah! And what if a pack of zombies surrounds you? You'll need the super-stretchy-Jake to help out!" Jake added.

"Time travel seem fun... I can think 4th dimensionally!" BMO threw in its two-cents.

"I won't have to worry about garbage monsters or zombies... as long I don't bother any of the local fauna, they won't bother me. My personal tranquilizer should handle even the biggest dinosaurs."

"Huh? Dinosaur? I'm not following you." Finn cocked an eyebrow.

"I've never heard of such a critter." Jake said, "have you BMO?"

"Of course... I am computer! I have all the knowledge in the world!" BMO cheered.

"I guess they're a little bit... no, a LONG while before your time. They're a race of reptilian creatures that were the dominant species many millions of years ago. In fact, they're still around today in the form of birds." PB explained, as BMO added appropriate images.

Finn & Jake were still not convinced that PB was 100% safe. From what they saw, these animals didn't look to friendly. And they've fought off some pretty nasty birds during their adventures.

"I don't know PB... I'm not really comfortable with you going back in time alone. Please let us go... I want to keep you safe." Finn blushed, but still very serious.

Princess Bubblegum sighed, defeated at her attempts to ease their worries. "Okay... since I care about you guys too... just promise me you won't get into trouble!"

Finn bowed before her, "Princess, I give you the Hero's Oath, that no harm shall come to you or anyone else on this mission."

"That's more like it." PB crossed her arms in approval.

With the final specifications in place, Princess Bubblegum pressed go. The timer was set, and spoke: "10 seconds to time jump."

"Everyone stay close to me!" PB ordered as everyone huddled.

"I sure bet Finn enjoys being close to you." Jake joked.

"Knock it off dude!" Finn blushed bright red as PB rolled her eyes.

As the countdown ended, the four were teleported through an massive portal. Colors and patterns flew past them with remarkable speed, until at last they landed in a patch of ferns.

Picking themselves up, they took in their surroundings. It was very warm, and the skies were partly cloudy. There was an abundance of ferns and horsetails, with great forests of redwoods, ginkgos, magnolias, and hazels could be seen for miles. A small stream rolled alongside the group. All around them the sounds of various insects and other creatures made their calls, some were so unique that no modern ear had ever heard them. Clearly this was a unique world.

PB checked her device, "here we are guys... the Cretaceous. We've gone back millions of years!"

"Come on Jake, let's fight some dinosaurs!" Finn suggested, preparing his sword as Jake giddily changed shape. As the two were about to run off, Princess Bubblegum yelled.

"HEY! Remember why we're here?" PB gave a very stern look at the boys.

"You're right." Finn put away his sword, "sorry. We should look for those plants."

"You're darn right about that." PB grinned at the boy's excitement. "Who knows... if we have some left over time, we can find some dinosaurs or something. Okay?"

"Okay." Jake answered.

"So where should we look? What do these plants look like?" Finn asked as PB picked up BMO and searched a database.

"According to what we know... cycadeoids looked like tree ferns with strange flower-like structures. Judging from the local plant life, I'll need to be able to differentiate cycadeoids from true flowering plants." PB found the correct image of the plant and printed out three copies.

Putting down BMO, PB took out a small kit. "I'm going to have to take samples from a bunch of different plants just to be safe. Stay close and keep a look out if you see any plants that look like this." She handed the two printouts to Finn & Jake, who put them in their pockets.

The group walked along, gazing at the landscape. It was certainly different from anything they knew, but Finn saw this trip as an opportunity for real adventure. Based upon what Princess Bubblegum said, they were millions of years before the great Mushroom War, so this was probably their only chance to see what life was like in the old days... or at least... the very, very old days.

There was no way he was going to blow this chance for adventure!

...

**To be continued!**

_Hello! This is just a little return to fanfiction with what little Summer I have left before college starts. I've only recently gotten into this show, and I love it to death! So I figured I could combine it with the other thing I love a lot... prehistory! The slow, calm atmosphere will get much more insane as Finn, Jake, BMO, & PB explore the Cretaceous world and come across obstacles. As cliché as this sounds... this will be the greatest adventure 100 million years in the making!_

_Hank_o_Holic_


	2. Meetings with the Local Fauna

_**Hank_o_Holic**_** Presents:**

**PALEO TIME**

**Chapter 2 - **_Meetings with the Local Fauna_

Princess Bubblegum surveyed a small patch of foliage as Finn & Jake lazily followed and took a seat on a fallen log. They had been walking like this for a while, watching PB take samples from various flowering plants, but from what she knew, none were what they were looking for. Finn hoped that they would find the cycadeoid soon so his "adventure" could officially start.

BMO walked around the site, looking at every rock and leaf, clearly excited to have been invited by Finn & Jake to tag along for once. It was refreshing for the little robot to actually take part in a journey, and he didn't want this opportunity to go to waste.

"Stay close BMO, it's easy for you to get lost here!" Jake called, making sure he was safe.

BMO looked back and smiled a little, before going back to site-seeing.

"Anything yet Princess?" Finn asked, obviously bored.

"Not yet... it's really perplexing. I figured these plants were more common then they apparently are."

"I'm surprised we haven't seen any dinosaurs yet. All I've seen was a cockroach and two lizards." Jake stated, pawing at the dirt.

As everyone was talking, BMO heard some rustles in the bushes. Letting his excitement get the best of him, he ran off to investigate.

"I understand that this isn't the most exciting thing for a couple of adventurers like you... but don't worry. I'm sure they're around." PB said as she took some samples and compared them.

The sound of distant calls were heard as Finn & Jake stood up suddenly and looked up. The noises appeared to come from the sky. Glancing upward alongside them, PB noticed two very large shapes soaring above them.

"What are those?!" Jake asked, shocked.

"Dinosaurs?!" Finn added.

"No... they're pterosaurs. Flying reptiles! And they're big; we need to find cover fast!" PB scrambled to collect her things and dragged Finn as Jake tagged behind.

"Come on BMO!" the dog called, but when there was no response he stopped running.

"WAIT!"

"What?!" Finn exclaimed.

"I can't find BMO!" Jake replied, with a worried tone.

Just then, two massive pterosaurs plummeted down and landed right behind the group. They towered above them, probably 20 feet tall at least. They were hairy, with long thin necks and massive heads.

Their amplified vulture-like screams terrified PB, but Finn wasn't about to find out if they were friend or foe. With BMO missing, he didn't take any chances.

"Looks like it's time to teach you guys not to mess with us!" Finn pulled out his sword and struck one of the animals in the bill with the blunt end. This sent the pterosaur back a few feet, shaking its head from the force. The other grabbed Finn by the backpack and swung him around, dropping his sword.

"WHOA! Jake... help... me!" He struggled to say.

"You got it dude!" Jake grew in size and launched himself on the back of the pterosaur, grabbing it by the small crest and pulling its head back. The animal howled as it tried to shake Jake off, finally dropping Finn, conveniently right next to his sword.

The second pterosaur, finally recovering, galloped up to Finn and constantly nipped at him, trying to grab a bite. Finn dodged and dodged, until finally grabbing his sword and sticking it into the pterosaur's mouth, preventing it from closing.

Using this opportunity, Finn jumped and punched the animal in the chest. The pterosaur flapped its wings for a second before managing to spit the sword out and eye Finn angrily.

Jake struggled to stay on top of the pterosaur as the other decided to help. Grabbing Jake by the belly, the animal desperately tried to pull the dog off its partner. Jake grunted in annoyance.

After all this time watching her friends tackle the giant pterosaurs, common sense decided to grab Princess Bubblegum's attention.

"Oh duh!" PB took our her tranquilizer and aimed it neatly at one of the animals. Pulling the trigger, the bullet shot out and snagged the creature right in the neck. Succumbing to sleepiness, the pterosaur fell to the earth as its partner galloped off and vaulted back into the sky. Jake landed safely on the sleeping animal's back.

Though tired, Jake managed to fist-bump Finn, having at least succeeded in keeping PB safe from the pterosaurs.

"Are you guys okay?" PB exclaimed, worried as she hugged the both of them.

"We're okay Princess. The other guy flew away. It's safe now." Finn responded, huffing and puffing. "Thanks for shooting it."

Jake looked at the giant dozed form. "What an ugly fella."

"I hope it didn't eat BMO." Finn said, putting an ear to the pterosaur's stomach, hoping to hear him. Nothing.

"He's not in there." Finn spoke, defeated.

"Don't worry Finn, we'll find him. I have a metal detector; in this pre-technological world finding him should be a synch." PB patted the boy's back, comforting him. "Finding BMO will be more important right now than finding that plant."

"I just hope he's okay." Jake looked in the brush.

...

BMO kept following the sounds of moving brush for several minutes now, hoping to find out the cause. Finally, after jumping out of the foliage, he stared face-to-face with a little dinosaur.

The animal was feathered, with short, stubby arms and a pointed face. It eyed BMO curiously.

"Hello little one. I am BMO!" The robot greeted extending his hand to shake. Unfortunately, the dinosaur only had one big thumb claw, so it couldn't really return the shake. Not like it even understood what "shaking hands" was anyway.

"I guess you cannot shake hands because you do not really have hands. BMO understands."

The dinosaur sniffed at BMO and proceeded to jumped, knocking the robot to the ground and sitting atop hip. It proceeded to lick at his screen and chirp.

"You are so funny! Stop! It tickles." BMO giggled.

Unknown to him, more and more of the little dinosaurs showed up until he was surrounded . As the dinosaur hopped off BMO, the robot got up and looked around and saw his new audience. A little surprised, BMO dusted himself off and grinned.

"I see you have friends." BMO stated.

The animals stared intensely at the robot, some chirping.

"Greetings little dinos! I am BMO! From the future." he waved as the dinosaurs stared at him. Looking into their eyes, BMO didn't see much intelligence beyond the levels of, say, a sea gull.

Then, BMO got a weird idea. "Bow to me. And I will bring you sanctuary!"

The dinosaurs simply huddled down and put their heads to the ground, still looking at the robot.

BMO grinned giddily.

...

"BMO!" Finn called, while PB scoured the area with her metal detector. Nothing yet.

Having ventured for a good long while, the group finally made it out of the open woodland into what looked like a fern-prairie. Out in the distance they were graced with the presence of entire herds of dinosaurs. There were duck-billed hadrosaurs with magnificent crests, and horned dinosaurs with peculiar ornamented heads. Birds fluttered around them in the hopes of getting a free meal of parasites and seeds, and the wind blew softly. It was truly a sight to behold.

"That's a lot of dinosaurs." Finn gasped.

"You can say that again." Jake added.

"Do you think BMO would actually think about going near those animals?" Princess Bubblegum asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know... he's a curious little dude. He probably might even try to hit one with his trademark 'BMO chop' in an attempt to look tough." Jake chuckled, picturing the situation in his head.

"That would be a very dangerous move. These aren't exactly friendly animals." PB responded.

"But they're eating plants." Finn said.

"True... but just because something is big and herbivorous doesn't mean it wouldn't think twice about harming someone bothering it." PB explained.

"Then we'll have to be careful," Finn formulated a plan, "Jake I'm going to need you to shape-shift into something resembling one of those dinosaurs, and we'll walk next to you as if we were babies or something."

"That sounds like it will work." PB shook her head in agreement.

With that, Jake morphed into a convincing horned dinosaur (complete with quills), and began walking towards the herds with Finn & PB right beside him. The other dinosaurs took notice but resumed eating, seeing that they were not a threat. The three looked around carefully for any signs of a little robot, with PB still using her metal detector.

"This is going better than I expected." Jake smiled.

"Yeah, you make a believable _Diabloceratops_." Princess Bubblegum quietly applauded, but this only confused Finn & Jake.

"A what?" Jake asked in a funny facial expression.

"A _Diabloceratops_... that's the kind of dinosaur you are."

"I didn't know these things had such weird names..." Finn questioned.

"Well that's the whole thing about scientific names, they're either Greek or Latinized. Which are extinct languages unknown to most people in Ooo." PB knew her stuff.

"Gotcha." Jake understood, but Finn giggled a little.

"Say some other names!" Finn grinned.

"Okay..." PB sighed as she looked around at the other species on the prairie. "The bull-horned ones are called _Nasutoceratops_... and... those duck-billed ones with the crests that look like plates are _Corythosaurus_."

Finn chuckled out loud at the odd names, only causing PB to lose her cool.

"Will you please STOP MOCKING LATIN NAMES?!" she yelled, causing some of the dinosaurs to look up with surprised expressions.

At that moment, one of the hadrosaurs bellowed out a loud call, standing on its hind legs and inflating a sac underneath its neck to increase the volume. The dinosaurs then started running perpendicularly past the three.

"Oops." PB choked as Jake tried to dodge the running dinosaurs. Finn jumped on the dog's back to get a better look at the surroundings.

"I think I caused a stampede! I'm so sorry!" Princess Bubblegum cried, smacking her head in disgust.

"I don't think they're running because of you PB." Finn gulped.

In the distance, past the furthest running dinosaurs, he could see three more. These dinos were different from the others in that they walked on their hind legs and had very small arms. Their heads were massive and when they opened their mouths Finn could see very sharp teeth. The massive feathered forms ran after the herbivores in what looked like an attempt to grab one for lunch.

"Come on we need to go!" Finn grabbed PB by the arm and pulled her up onto Jake. "Let's get the math out of here!"

With that, Jake ran alongside the other dinosaurs. There was much panic in the air as the large animals brushed against each other. Young were pushed along by their parents, and sickened animals only trudged by, clearly more vulnerable that the rest. Finn saw this with worry, because he couldn't help but see innocent animals be harmed without even one chance of defense.

"We should help these dinosaurs by taking on the... uh... what are those ones called?" Finn asked.

"_Gorgosaurus_." PB muttered loudly.

"Right. I'm gonna deliver a whooping to those fluffy monsters!" Finn declared, before PB stopped him.

"Wait! You can't just face angry tyrannosaurs without proper defense!" PB pleaded.

"I have my sword."

"That won't be enough!"

"I've gotta try! I'm a hero!" Finn yelled before pulling out his sword and turning around to face the dinosaurs as the herbivores continued to run past. One _Gorgosaurus_ was attempting to bite at one of the horned dinosaurs before noticing Finn's small exterior. Finding him an easier meal, the beast caught up to Jake's large running form and tried to bite Finn. The boy immediately screamed in fear before actually trying to swipe his sword at the dinosaur. He missed, only causing the animal confusion before literally biting down hard on Jake's fake-dinosaur bottom. Jake yelled in pain before accidently throwing PB & Finn off. The dog tried to shape-shift, but the _Gorgosaurus_ had a really good grip on Jake and wouldn't let go. Another tyrannosaur joined in on the action as Jake managed to return back to normal by farting in the animal's face. This caused the dinosaur to let go and become dizzy for a second. The smell was so bad that the _Gorgosaurus_ pair turned their attentions back on Finn & PB.

Finn had lost his sword from the fall and couldn't find it. He held Princess Bubblegum tight as the two tyrannosaurs had them in their field of vision.

"We should run for it." Finn suggested.

"No! Even if we try we'll just wear out from exhaustion. These particular dinosaurs have a gracile form that makes running a breeze." PB explained as she pulled out her tranquilizer.

Pointing it at the dinosaurs, she pulled the trigger and shot out, only to miss. She attempted another shot but the _Gorgosaurus_ was clearly smart enough to dodge the bullets.

"I can't get a good shot!"

"Let me try!" Finn offered.

"Well um.. I kinda... only had three bullets." PB said, sheepishly.

Finn simply closed his eyes and screamed as he ran up to the _Gorgosaurus_ and delivered a well-coordinated round-house kick to its face. Finn managed to kick the beast back a few feet and even knocked out some teeth. Taking advantage of this, he grabbed the sharp tooth and pointed it at the two tyrannosaurs.

"You guys want some of this?!" Finn yelled. "A little of your own medicine?!"

Jake finally managed to overcome his pain and stretched out to cover Finn & PB. This didn't deter the _Gorgosaurus_ pair one bit, as they circled around the trio and tried to find an opening.

PB looked and finally found the third tyrannosaur. It had just taken down a sickly _Nasutoceratops_ and called back to his companions. The other two _Gorgosaurus_ looked back and turned to eat their meal, not without one hissing at Finn.

Finally safe from those tyrannosaurs, every breathed heavily before collapsing to the ground.

"That was SO close." Finn said before turning to Jake, "you okay buddy?"

"Dude that dinosaur can really bite. I was afraid my right butt-cheek would come off!" Jake exclaimed, patting at the bite marks.

"That's the thing about tyrannosaurs, they're jaws are strong enough to crush bone. We are extremely lucky." Princess Bubblegum explained, looking at Finn. "And I can't tell if you were really brave or really stubborn to try and take one head on."

"Hey! At least I got them off their guard." Finn defended.

"No you didn't! If it wasn't for the third _Gorgosaurus_ we would've been killed!" PB responded, a little pissed.

Finn sighed before looking down, clearly troubled by his actions. "At least I got this cool tooth." He wanted to give it to PB, but she clearly wasn't in the mood.

"What happened to your sword?" Jake asked.

"I lost it I fell off you." Finn replied.

"We should go back there and get it." Jake offered.

"It doesn't matter... I lost BMO, I'll only lose something else." Finn sulked.

Jake placed his paw on Finn's shoulder. "Dude you didn't lose BMO. We all did. It was an accident. Speaking of which, we should continue looking for BMO."

"That's right. Which is why I think we should split up." Princess Bubblegum suggested.

"What?" Finn got up. "Didn't you say it was dangerous out here?"

"Yes, I did. We're in a different world from the one we grew up in: an unexpected realm of mystery. I have knowledge of make-shift weapons that can keep me safe for long periods of time. Plus I'm more than capable of defending myself. Besides, if we split up, we'll have double the chance of finding BMO... and the cycadeoid."

Finn looked at Jake before finally giving up. "Okay Princess... whatever you say."

"Good. Jake can stay with you. Good luck boys." PB bowed her head and walked off towards the floodplains.

Finn looked on after her, still feeling a little down.

...

**To be continued!**

_Told you the action would pick up. With everyone practically split up, anything's possible! I'm going to play around with Finn's relationship to PB for a bit, especially since they aired "Frost & Fire" and it's clear that Flame Princess has broken up with Finn._

_One important thing I'll say regards my choices for the species of dinosaurs. Because everyone and their mother have picked popular dinos like _T. rex _and _Triceratops_ for time-travel stories, I wanted to be original and choose some lesser known species as a means of promoting them. _Gorgosaurus _is basically like a slimmer & smaller version of _T. rex _and the horned dinosaurs in the story are relatively recent additions to the list of known dinosaurs. _Diabloceratops _was described in 2010, and _Nasutoceratops _in 2013._

_Pretty sweet!_

_Hank_o_Holic_


	3. Unexpected Allies

_**Hank_o_Holic**_** Presents:**

**PALEO TIME**

**Chapter 3 - **_Unexpected Allies_

Finn & Jake walked for a half hour in silence as they crossed into another open woodland. Finn was clearly still feeling down, and Jake wanted to cheer him up.

"You know Finn... that was pretty awesome when you round-house kicked that dino in the face." Jake complimented.

"You really think so?" Finn asked, "I bet PB thought it was a stupid move."

"I don't think so. You got a pretty sweet looking souvenir now... everyone will know that you fought something that died out long before anything in Ooo! Well, except maybe Marceline's Padre."

Finn smiled as he pulled the tooth out of his pocket, it was pretty sharp at the tip. "I gotta hand it to you Jake, you're a pretty tough dog to take a bunch of these to the butt."

"It did hurt... but I bet those dinosaurs hurt more when I blasted them with a little Jake scent!"

The two laughed for a second, but their giggles were silenced by the sound of footsteps coming towards them. Scared of what it could be, the two stopped dead in their tracks and didn't even flinch.

"Finn... I'm going to pull my eyeballs back and see what that is. If it's a tyrannosaur or whatever, we're going to make a run for it."

"Okay Jake." Finn was sweating.

So, like he said, Jake stretched his eyeballs to a position where he could see backwards. It wasn't a _Gorgosaurus_, thankfully, but it was one of the horned dinosaurs they saw earlier, a _Diabloceratops_.

"I think we're good." Jake sighed as the two turned around slowly and saw the large animal staring right at them. Interestingly enough, it had Finn's sword in its beak.

"Hey! My sword!" Finn exclaimed, clearly happy.

The _Diabloceratops_ simply placed it on the ground and nudged it forward with its snout. Finn carefully walked over and picked it up. The dinosaur didn't flinch, but seemed to be almost trusting of the two. Finn placed his sword back in its scabbard and slowly extended his arm in the hopes of petting the creature on the nose. The _Diabloceratops_ went along with it and allowed Finn to pet him, making this the first time Finn felt an extinct animal that wasn't trying to kill him. Finn smiled as he felt the dinosaur's warm breath leaving its nasal sacs.

Jake finally walked over and petted the dinosaur too. "Well what do you know?"

"Jake, it's pretty friendly. It may even want to join us." Finn suggested.

"I don't know Finn, do you think it'll cooperate?"

"Of course! This dinosaur is good, and I'm sure it knows the way around these parts way better than the two of us. This is a chance between life and sure death you know." Finn looked back at the _Diabloceratops_, "hey dude, will you help us?"

The dinosaur simply grunted and licked Finn's hand.

"He's cool." Finn stated.

"Should we name him?" Jake asked.

"Of course... what was this dinosaur called again?"

"I can't remember... Diablo-something."

"That's it! Your name shall be Diablo! Do you like that?" Finn asked, and again the dinosaur grunted in approval.

...

Princess Bubblegum was finding it hard to concentrate on her mission. What with this entire unexplored ecosystem at her disposal, she'd spend hours just observing life. And right know, she was taking a break and doing just that. It didn't help to have the image of a saddened Finn in her mind either.

"I'll just try to fix it somehow... he really was trying to help. What with me and my stupid tranquilizer." she said to herself.

Finally crossing a small grove of palmettos, she stumbled across a flock of dinosaurs. These were very ostrich-like in appearance, complete with lengthy arm-feathers. Anybody would probably mistake them for ostriches too, if they didn't pay attention to their long tails and clawed fingers.

"Oh wow... _Struthiomimus_!" she gleamed, taking small images in her camera.

PB watched as the dinosaurs went about their business foraging on fallen cypress cones and water lilies. Some of the young were trying to catch lizards, while others were investigating an angry soft-shell turtle.

As PB was taking notes, out of the corner of her eye she spotted something... and it was very important.

At the very edge of the riverbank, she saw a cycadeoid, just one cycadeoid. This excited her greatly.

Quietly jumping for joy, she tried to think of a way to get over there without disturbing the animals. The feet of the _Struthiomimus_ were armed with sharp toe claws that could seriously cause harm to PB with one kick.

She glanced over towards the water for a second and saw one animal drinking. Suddenly, a massive form launched out of the water and snatched the dinosaur. It was the giant crocodilian, _Deinosuchus_! This ferocious attack startled the flock of _Struthiomimus_ and sent them running in the opposite direction, leaving just enough space for the princess to reach the cycadeoid.

"Well that was too easy!" PB grinned.

Carefully scanning the area, she saw that the crocodilian had retired back into the water with its meal, enticing smaller crocodilians to try to snag pieces.

Unfortunately, there was another _Deinosuchus_ that approached the feasting one and began a massive tug-of-war with the carcass that sent the provoker crashing into the cycadeoid, destroying the plant.

Princess Bubblegum just stood there, dumbfounded at the events that unfolded in front of her. Turning red with anger, she screamed at the top of her lungs, sending every small animal in the vicinity fleeing for their lives.

...

It wasn't long before dusk fell over the Cretaceous landscape. Finn & Jake became very acquainted with their new dinosaur friend, and found a nice shady spot by some spikenard trees. As Finn prepared beds for Jake and him, Diablo feasted on some magnolias.

Jake's stomach growled just watching the dinosaur eat, because it was clear that the dog hadn't eaten anything since they went back in time.

"Hey Finn, are you hungry?"

"A little, why?"

"Cause I'm starving over here! You know what we should have?"

"What?"

"Breakfast for dinner!"

"That... is an algebraic idea!" Finn jumped and fist-bumped Jake.

"I'm gonna look around nearby for some eggs." Jake said as he went into the forest.

"Okay!" Finn responded as he settled down to nap. A minute passed when the boy jumped up from his slumber and snapped, startling Diablo. "WAIT! JAKE!"

Jake was already far from the group when he stumbled across some covered nests.

"Oooh! Here we go!" Jake's mouth watered as he rubbed his hands together, ready to steal some eggs. Unknown to him, there were plenty of eyes watching.

As Jake snagged three eggs and placed them in his belly fat, a loud hiss bellowed from the dark woods. Looking up, Jake saw a medium-sized dinosaur eyeing him angrily. The beast was feathered and had razor sharp claws on its digits, including what looked like one big toe claw. _Dromaeosaurus_, a raptor dinosaur.

"Uh oh." Jake gulped, walking back.

"Uh, don't mind me Miss Dinosaur, I didn't steal any eggs if that's what you were thinking." Jake grinned sheepishly, trying to fake innocence.

The _Dromaeosaurus_ peered back at its own nest and noticed three eggs missing; it wasn't stupid. Growling viciously, the dinosaur took a few more steps towards Jake, who backed up quickly.

"Hey I don't want any trouble!" Jake cowered as another _Dromaeosaurus_ jumped right on his back, knocking the dog to the ground. More dinosaurs showed up to aid in destroying Jake.

Without warning, the pinning raptor was picked up by another dinosaur and thrown off Jake.

Looking up, Jake saw that Diablo & Finn had come to save him!

Diablo stood defensively over Jake as he roared loudly in an attempt to scare off the raptors. A few of the smallest did run off, but the adults stayed put and rattled their arm-feathers in defense. One _Dromaeosaurus_ launched itself at Diablo and hooked on to his back with the toe claws, causing the horned dinosaur to yell in pain. Finn ran up and swung his sword at the raptor, succeeding in getting it off.

Diablo galloped over and flung a few raptors in the air, sending them running off into the woods. Another _Dromaeosaurus_ hissed and nipped at Finn, who swung a punch and knocked the dinosaur out. Two more chased after Diablo, who turned and grabbed one in his beak. As his partner screamed in agony, the other raptor climbed up on Diablo and began clawing at the tough hide. Finn jumped and kicked off the dinosaur as Diablo threw the other _Dromaeosaurus_ away.

Finally, nearing defeat, the raptors backed off and stood near their nests. They weren't going to abandon their nests, but they simply allowed the group to leave.

Diablo snuffled in hate before turning away with Finn & Jake.

Returning to their camp, Finn started yelling at Jake. "Dude! Are you nuts! What made you think you could just wander off in the middle of the Cretaceous night without protection?!"

"These babies!" Jake smiled as he unrolled his belly fat, revealing three raptor eggs.

Finn forgot all about his anger. "Cook those eggs and I'll forgive you."

...

**To be continued!**

_The Cretaceous Period sure is dangerous... but I guess if you're a heroic adventurer or a shape-shifting dog with a dinosaur as your best friend, you'd be just fine. More about BMO in the next chapter; who knows what he's up to._

_Hank_o_Holic_


	4. A Primeval Moment of Terror

_**Hank_o_Holic**_** Presents:**

**PALEO TIME**

**Chapter 4 - **_A Primeval Moment of Terror_

It was bright and early when everyone woke up and reminisced about last night.

"I gotta hand it to you Jake... even in a time before ovens, you sure can make some mean eggs." Finn patted his happy belly.

"Thanks! I'm kinda surprised that even Diablo ate some eggs... I thought you were a herbivore." Jake pointed at Diablo jokingly, causing the dinosaur to grumble happily.

"I guess he eats whatever he wants." Finn laughed, "Kinda like you."

"And proud of it!" Jake chuckled along.

"Well, we should get going. It's been a day and we still haven't found BMO." Finn said.

"You're right... poor little guy, he must be scared to death." Jake frowned.

...

Unknown to Jake, BMO was doing just fine.

The little robot had successfully tamed an entire pack of dinosaurs and, after a bit of searching on his computer, discovered they were called alvarezsaurs. BMO was smart like that.

After scouring the landscape, they found the perfect location right under some araucarias. BMO managed to instruct all of the dinosaurs to build a monument in the shape of the robot using old termite mounds.

"Make sure you get my good side!" BMO grinned.

One by one, the alvarezsaurs kicked up enough dirt to make a sizable mound. Using their little arms, they sculpted and molded (to the best of their ability) a representation of BMO. It took a little under a half hour, but soon it was complete.

BMO couldn't believe his pixilated eyes.

"It is beautiful!" He gleamed, "thank you dinos!"

Such a warm thanks caused all the alvarezsaurs to chirp happily and loudly.

It just so happened that Princess Bubblegum was trudging along the area when she overheard all the noise.

"Those calls sound like they're coming from small animals!" PB scrambled over and peered through some palmettos. "No... it couldn't be..." she looked close. After seeing the large statue, the creators, and the visionary, she was ecstatic.

"BMO!" she exclaimed as she rushed through the foliage.

The little robot turned and gleamed at the princess, "Hello again Princess!"

"BMO where have you been?! We've been searching all over the Cretaceous landscape worried sick!" PB cried, picking up the robot and hugging him.

"I made new friends! They're extinct."

The alvarezsaurs looked up at PB and cocked their heads at her, clearly they had never seen someone the likes of her before. And at the same time, PB had never seen wild creatures acting like this at all, let alone prehistoric creatures.

"They trust you?" PB asked.

"Mm hmm!"

"Fascinating! How did you do it?"

"Well, first I needed to gain their trust! Then-"

Before BMO could finish, a large bipedal dinosaur rushed out of the brush and grabbed the robot, causing all the alvarezsaurs to flee. Poor BMO screamed in fear as the animal managed to have him by the leg. Turning around quickly, the animal attempted to run off, but not before stopping right in front of PB's angry face.

This feathered dinosaur looked pretty weird, with its circular head crest, long neck, and toothless beak.

"You let him go NOW!" PB yelled, throwing her empty tranquilizer gun at the animal. The object managed to startle the dinosaur long enough for PB to snatch a shaking BMO from its jaws.

The dinosaur wasn't very happy and knocked the princess down with its head. PB held on close to BMO while attempting to smack away the dinosaurs clawing arms and biting mouth.

"LEAVE US ALONE!" she yelled, to no avail.

A little ways away, Finn could hear the screams and recognized the voice immediately.

"JAKE! I think that's PB! She sounds like she's in trouble!" Finn pulled out his sword and mounted Diablo.

"Then let's get on it!" Jake agreed.

The group managed to save time taking a short cut through a shallow stream and eventually made it to the scene, where PB was being harassed by a dinosaur.

"What the glob kind of thing is that?!" Finn exclaimed, prepared to fight.

"_Chirostenotes_! And he's not friendly!" PB explained, before realizing who asked, "FINN!"

"I'm coming princess!" Finn tapped behind Diablo's crest, which sent him off and charging towards the dinosaur.

The _Chirostenotes_ took notice and sprinted out of the way in time. Taking this opportunity, PB ran up to Jake and handed him BMO. "I found him right here! He's been safe all along!"

"Good work PB!" Jake applauded, "Now we just need to help Finn!"

Finn and Diablo had their hands (and well... feet) full when dealing with a dinosaur the likes of this. Luckily, the adventurer had dealt with all kinds of dinosaurs since the journey began, so he was prepared for anything.

The two managed to chase the dinosaur away long enough for the coast to be clear. The _Chirostenotes_ looked back one last time and shrieked, before running away.

No trouble at all.

"And don't you come back!" Finn growled.

...

When Finn & Diablo managed to walk back, PB was huddling next to Jake and BMO. She looked up and saw him with the _Diabloceratops_, clearly happy.

"I owe you big time Finn. You saved me." The princess smiled.

"It was nothing."

"No, really! BMO and I could've been seriously harmed if you hadn't showed up. I'm really sorry for yelling at you earlier. You're clearly more brave than stubborn." PB's kind words caused Finn to blush slightly, allowing Jake to give a secret thumbs up.

Finn bent down and patted little BMO on the head. "You okay buddy?"

"BMO is okay." BMO smiled, reassuringly. "I can handle big dinosaurs!"

"Of course you can!" PB laughed, "You managed to survive out in this Mesozoic wilderness much better than any of us!"

"And speaking of which," she continued, facing Finn, "how on Ooo did you befriend this dinosaur?"

"He just came up to us and gave me my lost sword. We're cool." Finn smiled, only to have PB run up and hug him.

"My hero." PB said, only causing Finn to blush even more.

Jake grinned, and BMO was certainly enjoying it.

"Aww." BMO giggled.

After a few moments of reconciliation by everyone, the group (once again) remembered the entire reason they came to the Cretaceous. Finn decided to make things much easier on everyone by taking out his picture of a cycadeoid and showing it to Diablo. He figured the dinosaur that actually lived in this ecosystem knew where to find the right plants.

"See this buddy?" Finn asked.

Diablo snuffled in response.

"Can you help us find this plant?"

With that, Diablo motioned for everyone to get on his back. As Jake was the last to board, the dinosaur took off and galloped towards the plains. The large expanse of ferns went on for miles, only to be stopped by rolling mountains in the distance. A small grove of trees dotted the area, leading towards a larger forest farther away.

Right next to a grove of dogwoods and ginkgos, stood one cycadeoid. PB was now pretty sure they were rare.

"Leave it to the Earl to want the most rare of fossil plants." PB rolled her eyes, "thank you Diablo."

The _Diabloceratops_ shook his head, which was probably dinosaur for "you're welcome."

Just as everyone got off Diablo and made their way towards the plant, the sounds of little scurrying feet could be heard. Looking down, Finn, Jake, & PB noticed several small mammals finding refuge in underground burrows and fallen logs. Clearly something was wrong.

"Something doesn't smell right." Jake sniffed, before recoiling.

"What is it?" Finn asked.

A loud explosion could be heard towards the mountains: a volcano had erupted! Pillars of smoke and ash bellowed out of the center, and slight rumbles were felt on the Earth's surface. Everyone was caught off guard and almost fell to the ground.

Soon ash began to rain down and slowly blanket the landscape.

If they wanted to get that nectar, they needed to do it soon.

...

**To be concluded!**

_UH OH! Can things get any worse? Of course they can, because I'm going to make them get worse!_

_I sure hope those who are reading this story are enjoying it. I know some people have been following the story, and others may have glanced at it, but I do hope everything's cool. This story isn't the best and biggest of my fanfictions, but it sure is fun to write a small story for a change. It's also pretty fun to recreate the Cretaceous world and let modern characters interact with it. It must have been so similar, and yet so different to today._

_There will be one more big chapter which will officially end the story and then I'll put in an additional appendix for those who want to know more about the Cretaceous. Yes... I'm doing the "Magic School Bus" thing. :)_

_Hank_o_Holic_


	5. Showdown on the Plains

_**Hank_o_Holic**_** Presents:**

**PALEO TIME**

**Chapter 5 - **_Showdown on the Plains_

The entire ground was blanketed with volcanic snow as the eruptions continued. Everything was gray, and the lush greens and colors of flowering plants and conifers were lost to its ever increasing cover.

Birds and pterosaurs flew through the air to try to escape. Herds and flocks of confused dinosaurs ran for their lives as fast as they could. Both predators and prey ran side-by-side, because only one thing was on their mind: safety.

Though distracted and worried about the volcano, Princess Bubblegum remembered the cycadeoid and got out her nectar-extractor as quickly as she could. Doing this was harder than she remembered, maybe because PB had to deal with the rush of putting it together while a freaking volcano was exploding.

"Got it!" PB exclaimed, finished with the build.

"Hurry up!" Jake worried, grabbing his head in fear.

PB ran up to the plant, but before she could make contact with the flowers, a familiar roar was heard in the distance.

Everyone looked on in horror as a group of marauding _Gorgosaurus_ appeared before them. One in particular was missing several teeth, and glared at Finn.

"Uh oh." Finn gulped.

"Those are some scary dinosaurs!" BMO frowned.

The three tyrannosaurs walked closer and closer to the group, but Diablo took defense and galloped up to them. The dinosaurs stopped in their tracks as the _Diabloceratops_ bellowed a warning call.

"Of all the times to pick a fight..." Finn began, "this needs to end now!"

Pulling out his sword, he was prepared to protect to friends, now more than ever.

"Princess! Get the nectar! We'll hold them off!" Finn called back.

"I'll try-" PB turned towards the cycadeoid, but not before a _Gorgosaurus_ charged right at her. Before she could react, Diablo turned quickly and rammed right into the tyrannosaur, knocking it to the ground.

The fight was on!

Another _Gorgosaurus_ ran up and bit onto Diablo's tail. Finn scrambled to catch up and swung his sword at the tyrannosaur, cutting it in the leg. The dinosaur roared in pain, but not before head butting Finn to the ground. The wind was knocked out of him for a bit: he felt like he was hit by a rock.

Jake stretched right up to one of the _Gorgosaurus_ and chomped down on its tail, causing the dinosaur to freak out. "See how you like it!" The dog muffled as he bit down.

PB was keeping BMO safe from danger. As much as she wanted to help, Finn wouldn't risk her safety.

Diablo had a hard time dealing with two _Gorgosaurus_ at once. The beasts kept snapping at the horned dinosaur, attempting to frighten it. The _Diabloceratops_ wasn't about to abandon his friends, and was prepared to risk his life.

Taking a risk, Diablo allowed one of the tyrannosaurs to grab at his face. Using his sheer weight, Diablo reared up on his hind legs and swung the _Gorgosaurus_ into its partner, causing both to collapse.

Finn ran up to the dinosaurs and kicked some of the volcanic snow at them, temporarily blinding the predators.

Struggling to get up, the tyrannosaurs shook off the snow and stared at both Diablo & Finn. One looked right and saw that Jake had managed to apprehend their third partner by stretching around the dinosaur and binding it.

They turned to each other and communicated via specialized vocal chirps.

"They're communicating." PB said to herself, amazed. Then again, she knew that tyrannosaurs were among the most intelligent of the non-bird dinosaurs in terms of brain-to-body ratio.

At that moment, the dinosaurs circled Finn & Diablo, trying to find an opening. Everyone had their eyes on each other: who was going to make the first move?

The missing-toothed _Gorgosaurus_ bolted straight at Finn, who help up his sword screaming and ready to strike. Diablo immediately charged at the tyrannosaur, but not before the other _Gorgosaurus_ ran up and bit down hard on his forelimb. Diablo howled in pain as the tyrannosaur attempted to dislocate the horned dinosaur's shoulder joint. Finn jumped out of the way in time for the other _Gorgosaurus_ to miss.

Jake looked up from his captured dinosaur and saw the situation. He wanted to help Diablo, but that would mean another _Gorgosaurus_ to deal with.

Finn tried to help Diablo by punching at the attacking tyrannosaur, only to get kicked out of the way by the sharp talons. Finn fell to the ground clutching his ripped and bleeding shirt.

"FINN!" PB yelled, running up to him.

"Stay back! It's too dangerous! I'm fine!" Finn pleaded.

"NO! You're hurt!" PB took out her first aid kit and started tending to Finn's wounds. She tried working quickly in fear of a _Gorgosaurus_ attack, but looking up she saw something scarier.

Diablo now had to deal with two tyrannosaurs biting at him. One was still locked on his forelimb, while the other scrapped at his quilled back, attempting to bleed him to death. Diablo was feeling weak.

It was clear that this fight would be over very soon, but not before another explosion could be heard.

The volcano had now blown out so much ash and dust that a pyroclastic flow began to descend upon the landscape. Literally all of the animals in the vicinity fled as quick as they could, but some of the slower creatures were consumed by the flow.

At this rate, the flow would be over the group in three minutes.

Finn, feeling a little better, got up and looked at Diablo.

"Finn it's too late! You're in no position to fight anymore!" PB begged, holding onto his arm.

Feeling down, but not out, the adventurer had one more plan up his sleeve.

"Princess! Get the nectar right now! As soon as you're done, set up the time machine! I'm going to at least deter the dinosaurs enough to maybe save Diablo and take him to the Candy Kingdom!"

"Finn, we can't take him back."

"Why not?!"

"The time machine only has enough power for the four of us. And besides, even if I had made the machine strong enough to take him back... that wouldn't be right. He lives here. The least you can do is get him free from those tyrannosaurs so he ran escape the flow."

"But... he'll never escape in time!" Finn was crying now.

"Then the only option is to let him go." PB frowned, turning to the cycadeoid and extracting the nectar.

Finn looked at Diablo and saw that he was now subdued by the _Gorgosaurus_. The horned dinosaur was heavily bleeding, and lacked the energy to get up. The tyrannosaurs, finished with their job, left him to die. Now Finn was in their sights, and the two slowly stalked towards him.

Finn, his heart full of anger, took a deep breath and watched as one of the dinosaurs made the first leap at him. Finn clutched his sword and jumped at the _Gorgosaurus_.

Now the two were colliding towards each other. Finn trusted his sword and stuck it deep in the tyrannosaur's skull. The two fell to the earth as Finn managed to get up and see his work.

The _Gorgosaurus_ twitched slightly before laying silent.

Finn reached down and yanked the bloody sword from the dinosaur's head. The other tyrannosaur simply looked at him in fear before finally backing off.

Finn ran up to Diablo and stared into his eyes. The dinosaur looked up and grunted slightly, too weak to properly look at him. Finn simply sat down on his knees and hugged the creature's head, allowing Diablo to be at peace for at least a few seconds.

"Goodbye Diablo. I'll miss you." Finn whimpered, urging a groan from the dinosaur.

PB extracted the last few drops of nectar before putting away her device and pulling out her time machine, setting the course for present-day Ooo.

"Finn I'm finished!" PB called, prepared to push the button.

Finn got up and looked in the distance to see that the pyroclastic flow was only a mile away, but would be here within a few seconds.

"JAKE!" He called, signaling the dog to let go of the _Gorgosaurus_ and stretch up to Finn.

With everyone huddled together, PB had one last thing to say.

"Goodbye Cretaceous! Thanks for the memories!" She half-jokingly said.

And with that, she pushed the button right in the nick of time as the pyroclastic flow consumed the area.

...

At the Candy Kingdom Castle, Peppermint Butler was consulting with some guests when a massive portal opened and launched the four into the room. Peppermint Butler screamed in surprise, before realizing who it was.

"P...P... Princess Bubblegum? And Finn & Jake?!" he stammered.

"Yes Butler, it's us. We're back!" PB greeted.

"Back from where?"

"Back from a time before Ooo..."

"Oh! Your mission for the Earl of Lemongrab! Did you get the nectar?"

"Yes indeed!" PB pulled out the sample, causing cheers from all the candy people.

"Take this to the safety box and alert the Earl that his present is ready." PB ordered.

"Yes Princess Bubblegum!" With that, Peppermint Butler ran off with the sample.

PB turned to Finn, Jake, & BMO and smiled softly.

"Thank you for going with me. To tell you the truth, things went by much better with you guys around."

"Don't mention it Princess! Now I have more stories to tell! Right buddy?" Jake turned to Finn, who was still crying.

"What's up buddy? Why the waterworks?" Jake cooed, patting his friend's back.

"Diablo sacrificed himself to save us. If he hadn't put himself in danger, PB would've never had the chance to get the nectar. Now he's old news." Finn explained.

"Come on Finn... don't feel too sad. If anything, it proves that even heros need heros once in a while. He may be extinct now, but he didn't die in vain." Jake comforted, bringing a small smile from Finn.

"You're right Jake. He wouldn't want me to be sad." Finn hugged Jake.

"Are you guys ready for a feast?" PB asked, clearly excited.

"Heck yes!" Finn & Jake exclaimed.

"I am so hungry, I could eat whole dinosaur!" BMO added, causing laughs from everyone.

...

Everyone was seated at the main dining hall of Lemongrab as everyone prepared for the toast by the Earl. The ever high-strung leader stood up from his seat and tapped his glass, allowing everyone to remain quiet.

"My dearest lemon children-" He called in his noisily voice, "today is a very special day! For not only is the annual banquet of Lemongrab commencing, but we have been graced by the presence of a substance to rare that it hasn't been seen for 66 million years! THAT'S A LOT OF YEARS! Delicately seasoned on the main course is a special concoction produced by the sweet nectar of the extinct cycadeoid. Everyone is able to taste something that no one has ever tasted before. I don't know if it's MILD OR SPICY, but it sure must taste good. And to that we have Princess Bubblegum to thank. For if it wasn't for her and the human boy FINN and his faithful companion JAKE-"

BMO cleared his throat.

"-and the little robot BMO, we would never be able to enjoy this course. And now everyone, DIG IN!" The Earl dove right into his dish as everyone commenced eating. The nectar was a rather sweet, but the taste was so unique that everyone wanted to savor it as much as they could.

Finn, Jake, BMO, & PB smiled at each other as they ate, knowing full well that the mission was a complete success.

Before anyone could take another bite, the Earl got up again.

"WAIT! I FORGOT SOMETHINGGGGGGGGGG!" he ran off into the other room, before coming back with two servants hauling in a rather big object under a blanket.

"FINN! From what I've been told by the Princess, you made a very special friend on your journey. Is that correct?" he asked, causing Finn to nod.

"ANSWER ME WITH WORDS!"

"Yes!" Finn cowered slightly.

"GOOD. I was able to do some digging around in my vast collection of treasures and I just so happened to find this!" The Earl snapped his fingers as his servants uncovered the item, revealing an articulated fossil skeleton that looked very familiar. The four of them gasped.

"No way... is that..." Jake's jaw went to the floor, literally.

"PRECISELY! With PB's identification, the scientists at Lemongrab were able to correctly deduce that this skeleton belongs to your friend... uh..."

"Diablo." PB added.

"YES! DIABLO! Here you go."

Finn wasn't sure if he was happy or creeped out to be presented with the skeleton of his dinosaur friend, the same friend that he touched with his own hands. In the end, it was a mix of amazement and reminiscence that overtook him.

Diablo may be gone, but Finn made sure to honor his legacy with this skeleton.

When they finally parted ways with PB and got back home to the Tree House, Finn and Jake set up Diablo's skeleton in a nice spot under a shady tree.

Remembering something mentioned by PB when she first introduced the world of dinosaurs to them at the very beginning, Finn set up some bird feeders around the skeleton.

This little area was all Finn, Jake, & BMO had to access a time so distant in the past, and yet to close to their hearts.

**The End!**

_ALRIGHT! Well this was a fun little story to write! Thank you to everyone who bothered to take the time and read this story. And let this be a reminder to everyone... dinosaurs are cool! And so it Adventure Time! _

_Note that I just saw "Too Old" today (which was hilarious), but chose to include the fat Earl of Lemongrab as he was before this episode aired; that way he has no reason to be angry with PB & Finn._

_After this chapter, there will be a short little skit featuring Princess Bubblegum & the Earl of Lemongrab that basically sets up the premise behind their journey to the Cretaceous Period. There's not really any addition story details, but rather a small series of interesting stuff that you may read if you feel like it. If not, whatever. :)_

_Hank_o_Holic_


	6. Appendix

_**Hank_o_Holic**_** Presents:**

**PALEO TIME**

**Appendix**

The Earl of Lemongrab got comfortable on his easy chair as Princess Bubblegum pulled out a small device which flashed a laser that displayed a screen above.

"Are you comfy Earl?" PB asked.

"Yes, please commence with the words." The Earl waved his hand rather rudely.

"...okay. Well, all I wanted to do was share with your our experiences on our journey back in time. So that you may understand the rigorous trouble we went through to get that nectar."

"Which was DELICIOUS by the way..."

PB began, "Using my time machine, we managed to travel back to the Cretaceous, a period of time that lasted from 145 million years ago to 66 million years ago. By the usual standards of time as known by the citizens of Ooo, this enormous span of time is incomprehensible."

"How so?" The Earl asked.

"Well, think about this. An hour lasts 60 minutes... a day lasts 24 hours... a year last 365 days... and so on. Though the average candy citizens have life spans that vary, most only live through several decades. But our time travel dealt with _geologic_ time which lasts for millions or even billions of years. Those decades of a candy citizen's life are nothing but a blink of the eye by these standards."

"I see... so you guys went back a long time then."

"Yes. Though we were on the same planet, the world was different at this time. Due to the moon spiraling away from Ooo, the day grows in length. Instead of a 24 hour day and 365 day year, during the Cretaceous a day was at least 23 hours and a year had 375 days."

"Was anything else different? How was the landscape?"

"Very surreal. Because this was long before the Great Mushroom War, none of the candy forests or candy life forms had developed yet. Instead, strictly biological creatures had evolved."

PB pulled up some photographs & sketches she managed to make of different plants.

"The foliage was a tad similar to today in terms of the varieties of non-candy plants. Though coniferous plants were still the norm, flowering plants were growing to dominate the landscape. We saw many kinds: water lilies, magnolias, palmettos, dogwoods, hazels... a whole bunch."

"What about grass?"

"Grass was only around for the very end of the Cretaceous. We saw some, but they were rather water-loving forms. Grasslands only appeared relatively recently in time, instead the plains were covered in ferns."

"Did any of these plants have delectable fruits?"

"Of course! Many flowering plants have fruits, be they nuts, grains, or sweet & soft things like apples and oranges that we're so familiar with. In fact, many of the herbivorous dinosaurs may have encouraged the evolution of fruits."

"How does something encourage a plant? Do these plants communicate with the dinosaurs?"

"Not exactly, these plants didn't talk. You know that fruits have seeds right?"

"DUH."

"If a plant encases it's seeds in fruit that looks 'delectable' as you say, then it encourages dinosaurs to eat them, there by digesting the fruit and passing the indigestible seeds further away from the plant. With added fertilizer for good measure, the seed is planted and can grow into another plant."

"Fascinating! Who know fecal matter can do so good?"

"Uh... moving on. The cycadeoid nectar that you so desperately wanted came from a now extinct race of flowering plant relatives."

"Relatives?"

"Yeah, they're not true flowering plants in that they self-pollinated their flowers. It was probably this unsafe method of reproduction that led to their demise and to the succession of the true flowering plants."

"I see. Plants bore me, tell me about these so-called dinosaurs. What makes them so special from other reptilian beasts?"

"Well for one thing dinosaurs walked and stood with their legs tucked under their bodies. They were relatively active animals with complex social lives and advanced parental behavior, sometimes akin to mammals. All this, along with detailed studies of bone physiology, suggest that dinosaurs were warm-blooded animals, much like their descendents the birds."

"How is a bird a dinosaur? They're so different!"

"Birds share nearly a hundred structural similarities with other dinosaurs: like hollow bones, a system of air-sacs, egg-laying, and of course the distribution of feathers and/or feather-like structures."

"I see."

"We traveled to a part of the Late Cretaceous, at a time when dinosaur diversity was at an all time high. The most common dinosaurs we saw were duck-billed hadrosaurs and horned dinosaurs, known scientifically as 'ceratopsians'."

"Like Finn's dinosaur friend..."

"Yep! He was a _Diabloceratops_. These dinosaurs maxed at 18 feet long and weighed as much as a rhinoceros. Horned dinosaurs looked a lot like rhinos too, but they were still very distinct. We were always at risk from other dinosaurs, most notably the bipedal theropod dinosaurs. We met several species from different parts of the dinosaur family tree."

PB displayed a diagram of the various dinosaur species.

"What is that ostrich looking one?"

"That's a _Struthiomimus_. They're omnivorous, and they could run very fast. Thanks to their superbly powerful leg muscles, these dinosaurs could run at speeds of almost 50 mph! I was lucky enough to see them run as fast."

PB continued, "BMO was lucky enough to make his own dinosaur friends, in the form of alvarezsaurs. These were certainly one of the strangest dinosaurs. Their arms had evolved to the point where they only had one large thumb claw and two vestigial fingers. They may have been insectivorous, but I wasn't able to confirm it."

The Earl was getting interesting in the largest theropod in the diagram. "What sort of magnificent hunter is that?"

"That's a _Gorgosaurus_. Probably one of the most ferocious of dinosaurs we had the misfortune to meet. _Gorgosaurus_ was 28 feet long and stood about 8 feet tall! Though their arms are tiny, they made up for it with large muscular heads with sharp teeth. They didn't kill by slashing, but rather by delivering massive bites that crushed bones."

"What an agent of destruction!"

"Indeed. Most of the other theropod dinosaurs we saw were relatively medium-sized, like _Chirostenotes_, with its head crest and toothless beak, and Finn had a nasty encounter with a pack of _Dromaeosaurus_. They're well known for their killing claws that acted like grappling hooks, allowing them to climb onto other animals and eat them alive."

"How cruel! What other creatures did you meet?"

"Well, the very first animals we saw were pterosaurs, distant flying relatives of the dinosaurs. It just so happens that we came face-to-face with the largest of the pterosaurs, _Quetzalcoatlus_. They were definitely predatory by nature, feasting on whatever smaller animals were around... crayfishes, baby dinosaurs, fishes, or in this case, us!"

PB continued, "not only that, but I witnessed an ambush by one of the largest crocodilians, _Deinosuchus_. Much bigger than any crocodile you'll ever see, _Deinosuchus_ spanned 39 feet in length. Though he probably preferred big turtles, he most certainly fed upon drinking dinosaurs if he had the chance."

PB displayed another slide, "with all this said, the biggest danger we faced was a volcano. Volcanic eruptions were quite common during the Cretaceous Period, and may have been an additional agent in the dinosaur's destruction. If you look at this graph-"

"You know what? I've heard enough."

"But I haven't discussed-"

"You have enlightened me enough about the Cretaceous for one day, I must rest now."

"But-"

"I MUST REST!"

"You know what?! Is this the thanks I get for sharing my knowledge with you?! You're a butt!"

"WHAT?!"

With that, Princess Bubblegum proceeded to beat the Earl to a pulp.

**"There is another way to bring dinosaurs back to life. It's a better way, which improves with each year and each discovery. It is the science of paleontology. By looking at the evidence from fossils and rocks, by making comparisons with modern animals, by studying old bones with our eyes and computers, we can make the "interesting" dinosaurs live again in our minds. As we combine the wonder of our imagination and the power of reason, the Age of Dinosaurs lives on."**

**- Dr. Thomas Holtz**


End file.
